I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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