I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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