Is it normal to miss your booty call?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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