that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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