I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
