did you get engaged???
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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