Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
