Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
