my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize