Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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