I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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