you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize