Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
