Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
