after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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