im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
