you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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