Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
