she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
