she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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