i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
