Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
