so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
