When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
