Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
