I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is wine microwaveable?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
did you just send me my own nude
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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