i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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