What did we do last night that was yellow?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
