dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
