That's intense
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
