You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
