Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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