the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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