was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
