I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He has the fingertips of a God
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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