It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
