Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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