We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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