Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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