just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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