there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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