Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
