She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
