i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
