Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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