she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
