Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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