we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sorry about my life...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize