Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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