Sry I called you an 8
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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