Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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