Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize