but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
