I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
