Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
