i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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