Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just invented taco cereal.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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