Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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