oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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